If you’re like me, you never think of all the other exciting things you can do with beer. After all, what better way to enjoy beer than drinking it? Apparently there’s even more you can get up to with everyone’s favourite beverage, as I was shocked to discover. Here’s the result of my investigations.
- Marinate your meat. Bacon, steaks, maybe a pilsner for your chicken. Just imagine the possibilities.
- Are you a vegetarian? Tired of struggling with tofu? I know I am. But marinate that tofu for an hour in some beer, onion, and ginger, and suddenly it becomes a beautiful marvel to eat.
- Make bread with it. Imagine it, a beautiful fluffy warm bread with all the delicious flavours of your favourite beer. Mmm yes please.
- Google other recipes for your beer. Depending on who you ask, it's either almost American Thanksgiving or Christmas. Either way, beer gravy?? I’m going to take a break for some snacks, see you in a minute.
- Polish your kitchenware. Beer is slightly acidic, which makes it a great natural way of keeping your pots shiny and chrome. Pick up a flat leftover and go to town.
- Slugs. As it has been told to me, these creatures love beer. Leave a cup out in your garden to get rid of them.
- Poor it out as a libation to the earth, thanking her for growing all the delicious ingredients in your favourite beverage.
- Wash your hair. No, for real, this is a thing and it makes your hair soft like kitties. Be sure to use flat beer, though; no need to carbonate your hair.
- Apparently beer popsicles are a thing.
- Buy 24 cans of terrible beer. Bring to party. Leave party without terrible beer. Doom your friends to trying to drink this terrible beer in accordance with some misguided personal ethic against wasting alcohol. Thanks Dan. So much suffering could have been avoided if only I’d made this list earlier.
So there you are. Now you have so many options for your beer purchases and leftovers. You need never again be constrained to mere drinking. But of course if you are drinking it, shoot me a text and we’ll meet up. Some things are just too wonderful to ever give up.